Posts Tagged ‘joke’
Efficiency in anything you do is a very logical goal. Who wants to spend more time than necessary accomplishing some task? Being efficient in grad school gives you more time to experience life outside of school. Imagine being able to gain over 40 hours a week to do what you please! With this extra time, you can choose to reinvest it in your work, or you can choose to learn something new. Perhaps your piles of money need counting, or maybe you want to take your Maserati to get polished again. Whatever the goal, having extra time can be a massive boon to your success in life.
The least efficient action you take right now is sleeping. Most everybody you know keeps a monophasic sleep cycle: sleep in one big chunk during the day and stay awake for about 16 hours. But if we want to make sleep more efficient, then monophasic isn’t going to cut it. Polyphasic is the way to go. Polyphasic sleep allows you to sleep for only 2 hours total in the day and gives you a massive 22 hours to do with what you please. The key to polyphasic sleep is entering the REM cycle of your sleep quickly. If you can learn to do this, then you can be in peak performance with just 2 hours of sleep per day. This 2 hours is broken up over the entire day in 20 minute naps every for hours. Once you train your body to immediately enter REM sleep upon falling asleep, the total time you need to sleep will be decreased and you will feel amazingly rested after each nap.
If you really want to be truly successful in graduate school and in your future career, you need to be more competitive and accomplish more than your peers. With polyphasic sleep you can claim that you have more hours in your day than anybody else. Nobody would be able to compete with you because every day you’d be able accomplish more than double the work they could possibly hope to do. You would truly be an unstoppable grad student machine and you would finally discover the meaning of life. Polyphasic sleep is the way to go for everyone in academia. And if you’re still reading this and aren’t convinced, well, then happy April Fool’s Day! Here are some of my favorite pranks from today. Enjoy!
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